I feel like being serious today, a little retrospective about the year that is so near to its end. 2010, has been a strange year which brought lots of joys, sorrows, tears and smiles in abundance for me. It has slowly but steadily changed my perspective about a lot of issues including me.
Today, I wish to slay all the fears that have troubled me and stopped me from moving ahead in life both professionally and personally. A few months ago I read on one of the zodiac websites for myself “You would not realize now, but the year is changing you and in a few months you would see how deep these subtle changes are.” Looking back now, I feel how true it was. I never realized but the changes were happening but so subtly that they weren’t visible to me. What has made me write this post today ? – I couldn’t sleep last night and the whole year back flashed like a movie(but not black and white) urging me to vent out what I realized after a sleepless night.
The year saw me facing my innermost fears head on, especially where I felt I would definitely fail. Surprisingly, I came out as winner a little changed, but I won. There were times I thought it was leading me nowhere, when my friends questioned my sanity and my family could not see logic behind my actions – but something kept prodding me “ Rachita do it, else it would haunt you all through your life.” (You all know what I mean). Some of those decisions hurt at that moment but made me a stronger person. 2010, thus has been a year of facing myself, of finding that inner core to see me through the lows and the vivacity to enjoy the highs. It’s been a year of valleys and mountains. I have cried buckets for obvious reasons and laughed like crazy for no reason and now that the year is near its end , I am tired, very tired. Especially today, the emotional part of me feels that year is over, nothing more left to handle – I have flayed all the dragons in that region. And, emerged out in one piece with a better understanding of relations, relationships and friends.
I have to plan a lot, as many things were left aside while I was going through this life changing year - 2010. Last night brought out all those buried ideas with a deeper fire to get what I want. I think that the only thing that stops you from getting what you really want is you, so If I want it, I will get it else, I will find so many reasons to let go. I have to end the year with planning but no resolutions coz I love to break them (waada to toot jaata he). I believe - Never say Good bye with a tear or hiding your face coz that would be you last memory. Face it head held high and a smile (you never know who is falling in love with that smile).
BTW (I mean “by the way” and not Bitto Tikki Wala) I wrote this post today instead of 31st December, as I want to say goodbye to 2010 with a smile. So wait for the last post of the year.
