What do women want .......a wife?

 A question that is asked across continents and ages...men unable to find answer or maybe not wanting to find an answer...to the simplest and most basic question ever....What do women want?  Let me start with the famous line ... ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, ..which is utter nonsense as it promotes the notion that men and women want different things, what we forget is the underlying similarity between men and women ...that both are humans thereby basic needs remain same.

Now, I am not going to be all philosophical in the blog but I have realised that what women want is something that can not be bought but is available to most men throughout life.....what women want is simply a wife.... . ( I am neither promoting same sex relationship nor am against it ...to each his/ her own way of living). I meant the concept of wife .... just think of the ways wives makes life easy for men around the world. She takes away the mundane, boring routine tasks from her husband and gives him interesting tasks at home and also gives him due credit , sometimes even on social networks , for helping to manage things at his own house. Can you imagine a husband writing a thank you note for the wife earning to share expenditures of home every month ? But that’s what a wife does normally when the hubby cooks or cleans... . You see , even I have tasks divided in my patriarchal mindset...household for women and earning for men. 

Doing same tasks everyday gets on our nerves, reduces creativity and makes us irritable. How I wish someone could take over tasks like doing laundry, picking up kids toys and placing them at right place, arrange their cupboards and school stuff and other numerous non ending household chores,  so that I am left with energy and mindset to play and dance with kids... something my husband finds time for. A mother is left with cleaning the mess and arranging basic needs and a father becomes a hero because he can make kids enjoy. A woman easily becomes tired, boring and a joy killer. So, I am pretty sure that a woman needs a .....wife - someone she can rely on. Someone whose presence ensures that home front runs smoothly, someone who doesn’t make her feel guilty of having me time or time with friends sometimes, someone who is there for her to take care of her when she is tired, sick or moody like a wife does for husband. So basically she needs a person who takes away her worries and makes her feel she can do what she wants without being boggled by taking burdens of house chores alone. What a woman does often remains unnoticed because it’s a part of everyday household tasks, nothing visibly different, so she doesn’t get that appreciation which makes her feel unloved, so a woman needs a wife to feel loved, appreciated and acknowledged because let’s be honest - husband forget and never say the right words.

So dear world, don’t just give her freedom to pursue her dreams, give her a guilt free environment to enjoy her life ... give her the feeling that her world that is her house wouldn’t crumble if she enjoys being sometimes. No woman comes stamped with expertise in doing household tasks, she learns because ther is no one to do them, no one to share those burdens on a regular basis. Be that man and see her smile all day. Be her wife sometimes, she will be yours truly with whole heart and a smile as long as a mile.

P. S - I discussed the viewpoint with my husband long time back...so no surprises for him.

P. S 2 - He didn’t agree with my viewpoint....but I still wrote about it....I guess because we are different....like magnet and iron....it keeps us together.

Yes, I am a mother and I love my kids differently.

The post is my personal view not a general statement on mothers, though I feel most would agree even if not openly 😜.

We grow up hearing that a mother’s love for all her kids is same. And still, we all at one instance or other have teased our siblings about the fact that ‘our mother loves me the most’. I always thought - do even mothers have their favourite child ?- a child she loves the most. And, I assumed logically it’s very much possible. After all, a painter has a favourite painting , a poet has a favourite poem, so what’s wrong if a mother has a favourite child.

Now life jumps a few years, I had my first child and realised I can’t love anyone like I love him. The love that you have for the first child consumes all other emotions. Your world changes, you change and perspectives change. The definition of milestones change, hence I realised that I was right and told my younger brother that now being a mother, I can say that mom loves me the most. ( loved his sad face 🤪).

Time leap - another 3 years, now I am mother of two. I asked myself the same question again - Do I love both my kids the same way?  The answer is - NO, I don’t.  I love them differently. Before you start shaking your heads , I never said I love one less than the other. It’s just that I love them differently because both are different personalities, they came into my life at different points, they made me realise different things about life and touch different chords in my heart. But together or even separately  the chords produced only one tune - love ,which was pure and innocent.

When my first kid was born, I became a control freak, special washing powder, gels, oils, utensils, 4-5 cloth changing sessions in day, clicking photos for everything, paranoid about people touching him, possessive , concerned about even a slight sneeze , first time mothers have it difficult specially in age of ‘google’ baba... I took his each achievement of milestone as personal victory. Then I had my second child, but I found that the control freak in me  wasn’t there, I simply sat there and enjoyed his antics, was calm about his little illnesses. Believe me it was strange because while my elder one gave me no stress , the younger one lets the whole world know that his demands are being ignored at home. 

So, yes I love them both differently but equally. To be honest , my eldest son is my pride and my younger son - my joy. One gave me the greatest feeling in the world , the other taught me to savour that feeling. One made me a mother and the other a referee 🤪. 

To both my sons - I love you both and can’t imagine life without you .( Though, I wouldn’t mind some time off every few days.)

I have no wish to rewind my life

 I was talking to a friend a few days back, in the course of conversation reminiscing old times, my friend asked, “ Hey, how I wish we could go back a decade and relive our lives”. I probably didn’t respond as enthusiastically as expected, because isn’t it an ultimate sign of ‘middle’ age approaching that we want to relive our golden days. Before you conclude that my lack of enthusiasm meant that I consider myself eternally young or my current life is perfect, sorry to burst the bubble. 

I believe in destiny, that things happen in our lives happen for a reason, you have to go through your share of trials and heartbreaks to realise your true self. The last decade or so, was my trial period. I have gone through it, came out victorious, maybe my aspirations changed, but my experiences taught me a lot. There were moments of utmost happiness with periods of despair equally dispersed. I went through it all, and there is no way I am ready to relive it again, even in my worst nightmare, forget about wishing to roll back a few years of life.

Now, this doesn’t mean that life was bad, but just that I can remember  the good times by talking, looking at pictures/videos or just by closing my eyes. At the moment, life is so full of new things , that I ask myself - why to go through the same emotions and experiences again? So with the old part of life done and taken care of, I look forward to new experiences, new adventures, new heights and maybe new lows, but sorry my friend, get another on board if you wish to turn back life a few years.

So, here to life to come...welcome because I am ready.