A Silent Plea

It was thudding softy, whispering a tale
it was cold around, inside it was in flames,
the heart was full and poring out
telling a tale, a silent plea..

Seen so much and heard a lot,
so much unspoken that hurt
the heart,
and unspoken was a silent plea...

The fluttering wings showed a sign,
a gesture maybe to reach out
Did courage fail at the last count?
hidden there was a silent plea...

Caught in the cage looking around
eyes in itself a sad song,
a sparrow that couldn't sing her song.
It remained a silent plea...

Oh, somebody take a look
Can't you see the unshed tears,
let it fly...high and free
Somebody please hear its silent plea.
 

My Album, My Choice

There are days we flick through our life's album, the one where all the important people and occasions are captured as photographs(our memories). Some of which will make us smile, on some tears would be shed, some would be seen with regret and some will make us fall in love again - with life and ourselves.

 

Over past some days , I have been flicking through my album a lot.(This sort of introspection is possible when you have time in hand. And that is something I have in abundance now a days). There were some wonderful moments captured there, great locations, awesome people and lots of emotions and colours.( Let me take the opportunity to say - I have a wonderful set of friends touche'wood). The album was an eye opening experience. I found though I had a lot of smiles, friends, family and love but somehow anger, bitterness, animosity and tears also have made a place in there. How did that happen? Maybe the same way lot of unnecessary things make place in our cupboards and almirahs. We stop taking out time for ourselves and clean our memory drive. We need to delete the pictures that make us feel negative emotions. But to do this we have to take out some time and get down to task in hand.

 

The task isn't easy and I have been doing a lot of it lately. I have gone through some heavy doses of emotions as I went on the journey that my album took me on. There were some places I adored and would have loved to stay there forever, some places which taught me the lessons of life, some that made me believe in myself again, some that gave me feel good to last for a while. But to my shock, there were some I didn't like and thought...what are these doing in my collection. They were a part of life that better be left behind, not even carried forward in memories. Just looking at them made me remember the times best be forgotten, when you get fooled, when you learn that life isn't all white, when you wish you could hide. These pictures fill you with negativity and better be deleted. So, I did a lot of deletion. Not of people but occasions coz no matter what - each person you meet atleast brings one moment of positivity in your life. After deletions, the album looks like me - sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes sweet , sometimes mad but totally crazy. As, I have already mentioned earlier, I am in love with myself so my album has to be me.

 

So, the moral of the story is - It's my Album and hence my choice of what pictures stay there ad which I delete. Hope that you all do the same. Choose your photographs with care.

 

 

P.S : Papa is right when he says " it makes you feel better and lighter once you throw out the dirt from home, cupboards or even life". Love you dad.

Saving my sanity

I have lately been infatuated with ... a game called Spider Solitaire. And the whole scenario is turning crazier day by day. I know it sounds silly but the game is coming between me and my thoughts. Almost as much as an unread book on my bedside. For those who do not know of it (though you would be in minority)…this game comes with the Windows Software and is highly addictive. Our forefathers were right that the game of cards is dangerous. Had there been any money involved this game, I would have made and lost fortune many times over.

 

Now, what prompted me to write about this, was a movie that I saw lately. A scene there had an alcoholic saying that talking about it is the first step to fighting the addiction. So I decided to write about mine. If you have played any game on mobile or computer and got hooked to it, you would understand my problem. I am always saying to myself, this would be my last game (of the day/hour), or another 5 minutes or just till I finish a game under ‘these’ many moves. But I always find a reason to deal cards for a new game. It is horrifying how I waste time on this, but somehow I manage. I am genius at it. (Not game , wasting time). The creators/designers are very intelligent, they have made game simple enough to get hooked to, any complexities may be added as per wish. Plus you don’t have to download it, it comes with the system. Wow , what more could I ask for. Sometimes I think had I needed to search and download or buy this game – would I be still interested?  May be yes or maybe no. I am not so sure.

At the moment I am fighting the urge to play this game, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. But I try, believe me I do. I am doing my best to save my sanity. I don't want the game to control me. Maybe I am thinking too much about the game. Infact Microsoft should pay me to think so much and then even write about their game. Would deleting the game work?

But can I? I am not sure.

(The funny part is that I don't even enjoy playing the game, I just end up clicking on new game)

P.S: As long as book wins over the game each time, It is a win - mine. And I just won.

There are pages still unturned

Just when you think what more could happen, life opens a new chapter, it takes a new course in the journey...and there are pages still unturned. The title of the post is something a dear friend said to me years ago, today I can say that I have understood the meaning. As usual understanding simple words is the most difficult task.

 

Life is a book, each chapter is connected to the last and next one, you can't take out one and treat it as separate. In other words, life is a book with one story and not a collection of short stories. The chapter you have experienced is your past , the one you are reading is your present, shaped by your past and in turns shapes the next chapter , your future. Do not try to skip pages or be too fast, you may end up missing an important part/link.

 

As long as you live there would be unturned pages. Though the thickness of the book does not imply long life ...it means a great life. A life filled with pages of your experiences, of memories you have made with loved ones, of your dreams and then reality. Live your pages today fully and look forward to the unturned ones. You never know when the writer adds a twist, a new spice and a wonderful adventure to your life.

 

I have seen people wasting the present in lure of a happy and secure future, and believe you me, that future never arrives. By the time they reach the stage they call secure, they forget how to enjoy. And remember the present shapes the future. How could a dull and boring present lead to a fun filled lively future. My book is pretty thick and I owe it to the wonderful people I have in my life. And there so many unturned pages. I hope it has lots of twists, spices and life.

 

 

May your book be filled with lovely moments of friendship, chapters of love, cherished memories with family , health and happiness. Enjoy Reading!

I forgive myself...

Read a beautiful thought today:

 

"You need to forgive yourself. How long must you carry the burdens of your mistakes? You are not meant to live every moment with regret. Learn from your past, and carry on with your head held high."

Courtesy - Message from God Application on fb.

 

Such a simple statement but we  rarely think on these lines. We always talk about forgiving others. On the lines that - Forgive them it makes life happier and easier. But how many times do we even think about forgiving ourselves for our so called mistakes, our misdemeanours, our attitude, our behaviour...maybe never. Somewhere deep inside we carry this feeling that we deserve bad luck because of something wrong that we have done. We forget to forgive ourselves. We remember every wrong action and carry it within us for a long time, it is very hard to let go.

 

I too have been holding onto a lot of mistakes that I have committed. Therefore, I have decided to follow the 3 step approach:

 

1. Accept my mistakes

2. Accept that I am human and would make more mistakes

3. Forgive myself

 

Dear God - what a medium to send your message -  but I got it.

 

Hope that you all understand the message too. Coz even writing that I am going to forgive myself is making me feel lighter.

 

Stop holding onto the past, forgive yourselves and let go. Only then would there be space for making more mistakes and living life fully, without regret. Do not hold onto the mistakes , hold onto the learning from it. Life is too interesting to make the same mistake again, commit a new one each time and learn a new lesson.

 

 

To err is human and to forgive is divine. Get in touch with the divinity inside you for your own self.

They ask me...

They ask me do I miss my city
And I say yes…
It’s a part of me,
Or maybe I am a part of it.

Then I think why ?
Is it the city, its people,
Or do I miss the charm?
Or maybe its fast but still slow?
It is new but still old..

Am still confused as to why?
Is it one factor or many,
Or I just miss coz it is...
Saddi Delhi..
Loved by all!

I have seen it grow and prosper.
Or maybe it has seen me do so.
I have seen its ups and down,
It was with me through all times.
Always a friend never my foe!

I have enjoyed its glory and
Felt its pain.
It has taken so much,
And a lot from it, have I gained.
A journey together!

It witnessed my success, my failures
And my struggle and wins.
It has enjoyed my laughter,
And shared my tears..
A city of my emotions!

Delhi lives in my heart,
No matter where I go…
So when they ask me..
Do you miss Delhi?


I reply ofcourse!


P.S : It does not mean I do not like my current city...!

Found but Lost

I found her one day,
enjoying the warmth of life
loving the feel of freedom
eating the fruits of her labour;
lost in her own world.

I found her again one day,
looking for something
searching her retinue
emptying her bags;
lost in her loss.

I found her yet again one day,
confused in herself
finding her identity again
solving her life's puzzle;
lost in her lost world.

I found her again & again,
more confused than ever
bewildered with events
begging for some familiarity;
lost in a strange world alone.

Maybe I will find her again one day,
enjoying the warmth of life
loving the feel of freedom
eating the fruits of her labour;
lost in her new world.

Words - Are they important?

Communication is 7-10 % words , 25-30 % tone and rest is body language. The percentage may vary a little but I think we all understand that words make only a small part of the actual communication. So, are the words that important? If gestures, actions and touch could say it all , what was the need to develop languages?  Off late the question has been bothering me a lot as I have used the same statistics endless times in my sessions. But going through them now I realise , tone belongs to words - tone isn't non verbal. Therefore, words even by these stats constitute a big 35-40% of communication.

Remember Boyzone's song - "It's only words and words are all I have to take your heart away". Words have a taste , a power that makes people your enemy or friend. Words can hurt , words can heal, words can change the world so in other words - words matter. Still we choose not to speak about the things that matter the most to us - to the people who matter the most to us, of the feelings that matter the most to us. Because speaking makes us feel vulnerable, maybe that's why we all wait for the others to speak out first. Ironically, this is what makes us  the most vulnerable - not speaking , it keeps everything bottled inside and we become an emotional volcano. Ready to burst anytime and making each moment till then an agony. Words win world, hearts and people and may end up doing just the opposite, it is this power that makes us afraid.

Don't we always or most of the time hurt the people we care about - our friends and families -  by not speaking about what they mean to us and what we feel. We assume they understand us and we do not need to speak. But given the power of words , this is the group that should never be deprived of words of care, wisdom and love. Sometimes a few words convey what our endless actions can not. Making you and your stand clearer than any other means. Read this a few days ago - "Sometimes hearts are broken by words left unspoken". So take chance, it is really a sign of power when you can let go of your fears and speak.

Words do not make the complete communication, but they are an essential component of the same. Sometimes that first 10% , without which the rest 90% of communication becomes meaningless.

P.S - Sometimes words are better left unsaid, other times those unspoken words could have made all the difference. So think, choose with care but speak out , you owe it to yourself.

Oh Life, you are

Woke up early, it was raining but still bright,

a thought came from deep inside...

Oh Life, you are confusing at times,

and I wondered if I was right.

With your valleys and mountains,

Highs and lows,

tunnels and burrows,

New and old,

Oh Life , you are my friend or a foe?

You stand beside me , whenever I feel alone,

yet make me frown so near the crown;

you cry with me and share my misery

but laugh at me and put me down,

Oh Life, you are the teacher or a clown?

Some say you are the past,

some search for you in the future,

yet some find you in the present;

Still you remain elusive,

Oh Life ,you are a mystery or its solution?

You are the goal or the journey?

A part of a jigsaw or the puzzle?

A beautiful poem or the part unleft?

Or a manuscript in some long lost language?

Oh Life, Whatever you are,

I embrace you with whole heart,

And welcome you into my soul;

 with you, I feel whole!

I love rains...

I love rains...and have enough reasons both logical and illogical for it. But as they say you don't need a reason to love....you just do it! My love for rains is long standing and deep seated...may be I am a sawan (Rain) baby has something to do with it...or maybe not.

The feel of that first drop of rain on your skin is inexplainable, it seems as if a message from above has touched you, something divine and beautiful. The smell of earth after the first shower is a blessing , it fills a place in your soul that seems to be awaiting it year long. The first walk in rain is unforgettable, when the drops make you smile and sometimes hide your tears. It is as if it brings out all your feelings in open. The brightness of the first thunderstorm lights up the world around , as if god is saying Smile - "I have not forgotten you". Rain is so positive, it cleans the debris, the mess and clears your vision. Only thing is that you have to allow the beauty of it to reach your heart and soul. Rain teaches you to love life, and love the fact that you are alive.

I would say a person who has never played in rain when a kid, had a dull childhood , one who never got his/her clothes dirty after splashing in puddles has missed something wonderful in life. When going to school if your uniform has never gotten wet - there is a memory missing in your collection. If you never sat in canteen or open in your college sipping tea when it was raining hard you wasted your college life. If you never arrived late at home rueing that it was raining but were actually having fun in rain - you missed out being young. If you have never walked in rain holding hands with your loved one - take a look at your love life again. I have some very beautiful memories of rain each year of my life and hope to keep adding to my collection.  

Rain touches you at every age , open yourself to it and it will change your outlook towards life. But then it takes courage to go out in the rain as it washes away the masks you hide behind, ye sabke bas ki baat nai. Rain comes to clean the earth and your soul. Allow it do its work. You would feel lighter and better and happier. Enjoy rain,  it is wonderful to smile when it rains coz then you are smiling with god afterall rain is a gift from above, cherish it.

The practical people who keep warning me about storms, dreary days, logged roads, traffic jams - I am sorry but your words do not sway my feelings - I simply love rains and the changes it brings in my world every year. You be happy in your pessimist world , I am deep in my rainy duniya.And my wait for the year ends, monsoon has arrived.

Read the following quote - "Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain". So -  Dance coz Life is worth it.

Criticise - you have nothing better to do

We all are surrounded by people who have nothing better to do except criticise the efforts of others or belittle their work or even show a disdain for anything and everything. They have only one goal in life - find out mistakes in anything you see. Remember the puzzle we use to play when kids - find out ten mistakes in the below picture. The critics never grow out of that phase in life. They are never a part of any  creative process because their minds, energy and efforts go into pointing the mistakes in others work. Imagine somebody who never puts in his/her soul into creating something but would very easily find time to look for loopholes. I really pity this set. How miserable this lot would be because there is nothing that is their own, they are always looking for negatives in everything, they are always putting others down, are rarely liked by anyone. What a pathetic existence! Poor them.

Amazingly these people always claim they can do it better, then why not do it! The other person even if made mistakes , had the courage to do the task. This is what the pathetic critic lacks - the courage to create , the conviction in his/her ability and above all their time that goes into creation. So they take the easy way out - Criticise other people. Attack befor they anyone questions you.

Isn't criticism a kind of mental torture , probably we humans are the most inhumane species on this earth. We always have scores of people who do their utmost to hurt others if not physically then mentally or emotionally. Ever heard of any other species attacking someone of their own just for the fun of it? You would not, this trait is entirely human. Only we hurt our own , only we put the fellow humans down, only we derive happiness in others sadness. This is ironical that we have lost so much humanity in the process of being civilised/sophisticated.

These critics hurt the new creators with their pathetic comments, snides remarks and rude gestures. In the process they affect the entire chain of creation. There is a set that says take criticism positively. I am fine with it as long as the critic is genuine about the mistakes as well as the appreciation. As long as the critic himself/ herself has been a creator. As long as the main motive of the critic is to help improve the creation and not put the creator down. In absence of these the critic is an undesirable component in the chain of creation.

Become a creator , then move up the ladder to become a critic . But do it only to improve others. Else keep your mouth shut.

A Touch

A touch says I care

A touch says I am there

A touch says beware

A touch says Smile for me

A touch says I'm concerned

A touch says I love

A touch says ... a lot

That's why they say when the words are not enough a touch says it all.

Touch - the first feeling we experience, the touch of a mother. And nothing can replace it when it comes to care. A baby freely touches and expresses what he/she can't speak. Surprisingly everybody understands because touch is the language of feelings which is universal. It says so much with just touching hands, putting hand on head - for blessings, a hand on the shoulder - to show solidarity, a hand on the arm - to warn, it is wonderful how it says it all.

Strangely when we grow up we unlearn this language and become shy especially when we feel vulnerable. So what could have been said with a little touch gets lost in the web of words and silences. We become so concerned about how it would look that we lose the freedom of touch with ourselves and our loved ones.  Can you think of words to replace a hug of a friend when you are sad, a kiss from your mom that says i love you, a little slap of your sibling that says I miss you, the touch on your head by your father to convey he protects you, holding hands with your loved one that says ... it all. With near and dear ones touch is a great way to communicate as nobody understands it except the ones using it. There is a little secrecy in the whole language. Hence lead the way and say it all

Next time you are confused what to say - use the language of touch. It is really simple but it expresses it all.

P.S : I am talking about positive touch here and not touching that has become a great social evil.

Enjoy the perfection of imperfection!

Lately I have been irritated with the set of people called the perfectionists. A set of people who want perfection in everything in life.....a dish, a dress, an occasion, a friend, a goal and so on. There are some people who are permanent members of this group and then there are some who become temporary members like me. Do ask how? You see off late I have trying to write an article and have ended up discarding it every time coz something seems missing. Now the fact that I have not been able to complete the article is making me go crazy. I fail to understand how can those perfectionists go through the ordeal of not creating anything for long or discarding everything they create in pursuit of perfection.

Yesterday I remembered something one of my mentors once said to me " Rachita - A start is perfection itself". She was concerned about the maddening pace I was working to achieve perfection in an assigned task. Of all the things I learnt from her , this was the best. Start because it means you are on the road to creation and would ultimately meet success or maybe even perfection. But wouldn't perfection be monotonous - you can't improve perfection or say what is a perfect creation for you should be perfect for everyone else??? Sounds confusing...let's unravel - God created this world - a perfect place to live with imperfect beings, us - this makes us all unique. Had we all been perfect , it would kill individuality in this world. So to be imperfect is to be individual. And I would rather be ME and unique than be perfect and a part of a monotonous race of human beings.

Each one of us is imperfect and together we complete the perfect puzzle called life. Perfection is a journey to enjoy life and not a destination for which you strive and struggle and make each moment of your life a waiting period. For that ultimate perfection you may be missing on the memorable moments of closeness with family, friends, nature, feelings, God and even yourself. So take mercy on yourself and strive to be YOU and you would find perfection in life . In terms of feelings and relations. For me perfection means up and downs of life - it's not boring , it  doesn't go through same machinations everyday, it has smiles and tears, love and fights, friends and foes. And above all it has creation in abundance.

So I say - Embrace the imperfection...and Enjoy the perfection of imperfection!

There are times I do not like what I write when I read it again and times when I get surprised that it was me who wrote it. But then this is my creation and maynot be perfect but this is ME.

Was she ready to fly?

Open sky, opportunities abound and a new life,

Everybody who loved her on first sight;

But nobody really had any idea

If she was ready to fly?

Leaving her nest & her beloved sights,

The siblings, friends and foes;

little things that made her loving world,

But was she ready to fly?

Thrown out of her comfort zone,

her toys and belongings left behind;

this new place had tastes of its own,

But was she ready to try?

Down and lost she looked around,

& found a friend in the new town;

to start her journey - confident again,

Oh, she was ready to try.

Smiling now she entered her new life,

Holding his hand, taking small flights;

This is why - she tried the new skies,

with him she was ready to fly...!

Colours - Have a story to tell!

Colours - define so much. Like your taste , your mood, your mindset, your fears or maybe just you. Some people say colours are of two types - warm colours and cool colours : so like humans - some are warm ...and less said about others the better. And of course there are warm days and cool days. I believe the colour you choose right in the morning defines your mood for the day. Some days we wake up with a smile and that leads to bright colours and happy zone. And, what happens on the day you wake up cranky/ angry/ sad/ upset  - avoid wearing dull colours - they wouldn't do anything to improve your mood.

Your favourite colour tells what you like - Red says power, white says peace, pink says feminine, yellow says warm or sometimes jealous,  and so on..... Maybe that's why I don't have an all time favourite colour - or maybe its white underlining  every choice. The colour you choose on a day/ season/ occasion would tell people about you without your even opening your mouth. For example - Red says Look at me, I 'm open to attention, Pink would says I am soft and nice, Black says I am in control, Brown says I am not in a good mood, Lavender says I am on brink on something new, green says I believe in spreading harmony. What about someone wearing multiple colours and all prominent ? - I say it means the person is ready to party.

Each day consciously, subconsciously or unconsciously we tell the world so much about us with the colour we wear. Think about each person you know - you may have a colour you may have attached to the person. The person who has a wide range of colours in the wardrobe - loves life and enjoys it. It shows you see life in different shades and accept each of them. It shows a lack of boredom in your nature, a vivacity of personality and the courage of overcoming odds in life. Some might say that's too much to say based on colour choice , but then see around you, people who always prefer a single colour over others would be more obstinate and less acceptable to any change life proposes.

So wear your colour wisely - or some colour lover like me - will form her own opinion. So, when you get up in the morning take a minute to pick your colour if not in a good mood coz colours not only tell about you but also work on your mood. It's difficult to stay in a bad mood when wearing a lovely bright shade.

P.S - Do not go about categorising people by the colour they are wearing - it might be just a phase or maybe not. It would be your call.

P.S.2 - the accompanied image has white wherever the colours intersect - So no matter what colour you are , when you meet others stay calm and let peace prevail.

The Bridal Shoot - What an experience!!

I hate getting individual photographs clicked, the dear camera almost always catches wrong angles, expressions and poses. Hence, "Rachita Only" shots are avoided as much as possible. Though off late my feelings on the matter have meant nothing because I faced a situation - The Bridal Shoot- Mine!

A Bridal Shoot - Def - (courtesy Rachita) : The ritual of clicking unnatural, funny and absurd poses of the already nervous bride so as to make her feel ridiculous and silly. Also, a hindu marriage has so many rituals - Roka, Kirtan, Sagan, Mehendi, Chura Ceremony and marriage for the photographer to fulfill all his creative ideas. Here is sharing with you my feelings on this very personal experience.

Meri Kahani Meri Zubani

Let's begin from the beginning - The Roka Ceremony. When as it is I was conscious( I rarely dress up and am never quiet), it being my roka ensured all the attention and the spot light was on me(& my fiance but I felt he got a better deal with the photographers). And believe me when they ask you to " look down", smile, laugh, turn right, up, left - you feel more like a bakri (goat) than a would be bride. It was my first experience and I " did not" enjoy it at all. With one ceremony over, I breathed a sigh of relief. Kirtan was a family affair so I was let free.

But at the Sagan Ceremony, though I knew what to expect the photographer surprised me. I lost the count of poses I had to make in the name of so called life long memories. All prompted by my naughty gang of cousins. To name a few - look at your ring, turn right, look into the mirror, redo your earrings , then wear your bangles again.  In all honesty I confess that the photographer was good at his work and really charming and courteous, so "I" became less conscious. With this feeling, I sailed through the Mehendi, Haldi and Chura ceremonies.

Now, coming to the M Day: For someone who buys the dress with lightest work, minimal makeup and accessories - carrying off the look of a traditional punjabi bride was a herculean task. But pat my back I did it- everybody (esp. dad) says with elan. Then started my ordeal - the same photographer was ready with even more "fantastic" ideas of bridal poses. I tell you we brides have it tough , so much so that by the time of the final ceremony we are immunised to all awkwardness of these silly poses. Starting with stand behind the curtain, hold it; Dance, turn around, smile while looking at your kaliren, sit, stand, walk, lean on the door, look into the sky...and so on (whew - getting married is a tough job). After a while I thought of cutting the exercise short but then took a deep breath and said "Bring it on". And started my adventure with the camera , together we sailed through a wide tide of poses - shy, happy, sad, waiting, dancing, naughty, crazy and all in all under the eyes of lovely people who came to meet me in the Bridal Room.

To give him credit - my family says - almost all my moods and expressions were captured by the photographer and still he made me look good. So, no matter how tough - Smile when its your turn coz it is worth it!

P.S : No matter what they say - the bridal shoot is never easy for the bride, its only then you realise that everything you do and wear is under someone's eyes and would mean a lot.

I apologise Mr. Finance Minister

A couple of days ago I sat down to think about the possible topics I could resume my blog with. The topics that ignite even a tiny spec of interest or excitement in me ; but this one ......... completely escaped me.

I, therefore humbly apologise to our Finance Minister,  the Government, the Economists, the Pseudo Intellectuals, the Planning Elites for my total disregard and the monumental lack of knowledge on the topic . Don't scratch your head( as it is dandruff is back in season) - let me clarify - I forgot that it is the budget day today....I really mean it...I simply forgot.

It is not totally my fault you see, I have been a little busy lately , with marriages - mine included (of course you may congratulate me), celebrations , birthdays etc. that it just didn't register. But, the whole blame can't be put on my door. The budget was delayed - wasn't it? As far back as I can remember budget is always out in the last week of Feb. It was always covered in the annual exams in March. Why couldn't they shelve it then?? Coming back to today - I switched on the television to the Doordarshan Channel to listen to the greatest Annual Speech in the Parliament. To my dismay it happened again this year. I couldn't understand a single word. I thought a change in my marital status would make it interesting but it didn't (Poor Budget!).

Hence, I honestly declare Mr. Mukherjee -  that I didn't listen to the document that you and your team spent months preparing. Your calculations and projections do not interest me. I am sorry but your self appraisal does not touch a chord within me. I can't keep a track of all announcements you make in your speech every year. I am a common middle class Indian working in a company, wherein my salary is directly linked to my PAN card and all my bank accounts  and earnings are in white - a section always neglected in your speech. What interests me is " How much of my taxes this year would pave way for your populist schemes? For how long would we pay for the loopholes you keep for business class (of course it pays for your electoral campaigns) and rebates that you give to the poor (who attend you rallies). We , the middle class , can't - you see we are busy working and earning honest money and honestly paying taxes.  As the saints say - This is Kalyug - honesty suffers. 

But then - Is it the same story again this time too...I  wonder? I would read about it all in newspaper tomorrow. I would like to smile today and believe me the middle class rarely smiles post budget. 

P.S - I saw Sachin's century and it made me smile -  Thank you Sachin for doing it today of all days.

The Art/Torture of Making Lists

Crazy as it sounds... but lately all that I have been doing is making lists, analysing lists, making it again and again...... And please ask me why......because that's what everyone around me is telling me. Make lists and then do work , execution is easier when planning is good. As if I have never heard of the saying. But give me a break.

To put everyone at ease, I love making lists... but at workplace. Where I know what has to be done, where only your mind is supposed to be involved, where you have so many targets to meet and where you have limited time at hand. But How can you put your personal life in lists...it makes everything so predictable...no scope for spontaneity, no avenues for surprises, just bland life...living around lists. I feel I'm going a little hyper about lists; in fact not little but total hyper. So much so that the last night I had a nightmare that I was sitting on a desk and around me were sheets filled with " lists" - the shopping lists, the important dates lists, grocery lists, the priority list, the family list, the to do list.......and so on. Gosh it was really really terrible. I like to be organised but not to this extend....where planning takes away the emotions. Now, where is the thrill to shop when there is no last minute emergency, what will all excuses do if you can wish everyone on time, who will be upset if everybody gets their gifts....you see making lists makes life so uninteresting. Nothing filmi anymore...huh.

Making lists is a necessary art and sometimes a lifesaving one , more so at office. I have had my moments when these lists have saved me. So learn it, if you want to do well in life. What I can't digest is why everyone wants me to show the same list making talent my personal life too. Now those who know me ...know how difficult it is for me. For those who don't know me..live in the blissful ignorance of my real talents. But I don't want to tell you all the importance of making lists...this post is to share the torture of making lists.

In the last month or so - I have done it all, used different note pads - plain sheets, lined sheets, recycled sheets, coloured sheets, soft sheets...; different coloured pens -  glossy pens, pilot pens, gel pens ....; PowerPoint's, word document, my phone applications, my email calenders...and everything...but ye lists he ke khatam hi nai hoti. And then you have to make so many changes all the time, additions, subtractions, permutations and combinations to make you go crazy. This list making gets crazier day by day. And believe me it is a big torture to make them and then keep reworking on them. When will I enjoy doing things when all my energy is consumed in making lists. What to do ? So I have decided to let go of lists....and continue...especially my shopping spree.

By the way, I just ticked on the task that said....write a post!

Happy New Year to everyone reading the post.