Half truths or lies...

I wonder a lot
Sometimes silent, at times
aloud…what hurts me more?
blatant lies or half truths around?
 
I look deep inside to find a reason,
Why at times half hurts more than
full… Why at times it hurts more
when the glass seems full?

Questions surround me on this quest,
Haziness overpowers my vision
at times,… my mind refuses to
accept, the truth, for it hurts.
 
No matter which one hurts me the
most,… a lie or a half truth or both,
They reflect a lack of trust…

A broken relation or a tear in the eye.

Both when come, bring a sigh !

ज़िन्दगी

माना हँसी थोड़ी कम  हैं ,

आँखें भी कुछ नम हैं ,

मगर यकीन करो दोस्तों 

हौसलें अपने बुलन्द हैं। 

 

ज़िंदगी थोड़ी नाराज़ हैं ,

तबीयत कुछ नासाज़ हैं ,

मगर यकीन करो दोस्तों 

मुस्कुराहट हमारी तैयार हैं। 

 

बदले हमारे अंदाज़ हैं ,

वक़्त  की ये अजीब चाल हैं ,

मगर यकीन करो दोस्तों 

राहें अपनी तैयार हैं। 

 

खुदा से एक फरियाद है ,

बदल गए कुछ ख्वाब हैं ,

मगर यकीन  करो दोस्तों 

खुद पे ऐतबार हैं। 

 

 

 

 

Flying High... A Female Perspective

Lately I have pondered a lot on - Why are flying birds such a favourite theme of paintings and poetry...or be in any form of expression? I know the answer is quite easy - We all want to be free like birds , soaring in the sky and enjoying life.

 

A loosely linked question emerged from some half buried memories - In class 11th, my political science teacher, asked this question while we were discussing about women liberation - What do you think, a woman needs liberation from? Does she really want to be free from her emotional ties and their burdens? The teenagers that we were, the answers came out an unanimous yes, especially from the passionate girls. Our teacher smiled and said - " Time will give you the correct answer". Ma'am, time gave me the answer you were directing us towards, years ago. So, why am I talking about it here - Well flying high and liberation are connecting issues - the underlying idea is freedom though the important issue is freedom from what ? This 'what' had been a recurring line in my thoughts for a long time.

 

I found the answer to my teacher's question while undergoing a maturing process (Yes, even I have had my moments). A woman needs liberation but not from the emotional ties or her duties, she needs to be free from stereotyping her role in the family and society. She needs the freedom to exercise her choices whether being at home or working and being respected for the decisions she makes. She needs to be understood and given space as a human being and not just a relation(wife, mother, daughter, sister...). She needs the freedom to be herself and a woman being the core of the life , if she is happy and growing ...so is the society. A shackled and tied woman means a decaying society and that needs a clean up.

 

So, yes, a woman needs freedom/liberation not from her ties and duties but to be herself and take her own decisions.

 

Now coming to the birds - yesterday I read somewhere -  leave your baggage behind and fly high like birds. The baggage it said was - your expectations, plans, disappointments, failures, success and so on. It said, how can you fly if your baggage is so heavy? Look at the birds , they fly so high because they do not carry any baggage. When I thought about it - I termed it as " Emotional Gravity ". We are tied down with so many things like worries, future plans, past, some long lost memories and our fears so that our soul feels heavy and unable to feel freedom. It is the freedom of soul which is more about feeling free even when surrounded with ties than leaving everything and feel free from ties. Coming back to woman liberation - I think most of us would agree to the fact that a woman ties herself with more things than she can handle and this slowly starts eating away her soul's inbuilt freedom which makes her feel shackled. Therefore, you find so many women, standing in their balconies or window looking out longingly at those flying birds, that is a real poignant moment.

 

Flying high to me is  - Being free from whatever baggage is unnecessary (the airlines charge for the extra luggage even when you fly for a short distance and here we are talking about life). It is when your soul feels free and not just your body - that would be when you would really fly high.

 

To all my female friends and foes - May you all have many moments of true freedom because you can spread happiness in your family, only when you are truly happy.

Shimla Calling...

 

Every few years this city calls to me....somehow I reach the same place at an important juncture of my life. Shimla or Simla whatever you may call it - is a city that has seen me growing. Having visited it so many times ... the last time I went there I promised myself that I would not return for many many years to come. But then again Shimla called to my soul and despite all my resolutions, I found myself packing and on my way to Shimla. And this time it showed me another face, touching a deep part of something within me...giving me an experience of lifetime. Maybe because I did not stay in Shimla City but Shimla district. Now why I went there, with whom and where I stayed is not what I want to share. But rather what I found there and what I felt is the reason for this blog.

My relationship with Shimla started at the tender age of 10 months(though I don't have any memories of the same), the city saw me again in my preteens, saw my rebellion during teenage, my arrogance in college, growing mature while working and hopefully saw me a little stable and finally grown up this time(Don't smile I don't guarantee this development). Over my so many visits - the city has lost its charm - I have seen so many buildings mushrooming like blots on her lovely landscape, mall road holds no attraction (though this time I went to lovely café - Embassy Café, visit it – it is an awesome place with great food and an eccentric owner), ridge looks like Karol Bagh and the whole city has you sweating so that you almost forget that you are in middle Himalayas and not Delhi. But I have also experienced the serenity of these mountains, touch of the cool breeze, light rains in summers, playing with clouds in my room, my first experience in snow, struggling in water scarcity and so in one sentence I have spent a lifetime in Shimla.

 

So this time when I heard Shimla calling - I thought not again. But as I said I got no choice. I stayed with my group at a picturesque village called Mashobra about 10 kms ahead of Shimla. A heavenly place, almost as if God had decided to make me feel alive and happy again. And guess what my phone which works even in the remotest of locations, lost connectivity totally. So there I was in a place offering me nature's best, having lost all connection with the outside world, no disturbances and a wonderful and stupendous opportunity to enjoy life and make memories for lifetime. And believe you me I had a blast . The first few hours when my phone was not working I felt almost half alive, restless and helpless - but slowly I started to enjoy the freedom of not anticipating any calls, of having no link with any worries. So maybe I needed to disconnect (with the world) to get connected (with myself). Though I never thought that I would have a good time but life surprised me again with a wonderful experience to carry in my heart forever.

 

Shimla this time wasn't about Mall Road, Ridge, Kufri, Jakhu Mandir or Green Valley. It was getting lost in unlaid trekking paths, getting wet in the untimely rain, discovering the unseen beautiful spots, walking in the mist when visibility was as low as the next step, enjoying the bonfire, sipping tea while watching the sun rise and allowing the nature to heal your soul. So Shimla or rather Mashobra was about becoming whole again and reaffirming the faith that life is worth it. And imagine having this feeling at a place which had bored me the last time I visited it. Which I thought had nothing new to offer to me.

 

So - Never say never to any place - you never know what you might miss out because of a simple NO. Travel a lot - God created the world for us to explore.

I Am

I am the one
still longing for that candy.
I am the one
still holding her dad's hand.
I am the one
still clinging to her mother's apron.
I am the one
still playing with her brother.
I am the one
busy gossiping with her friends.
I am the one
with no sense of time.
I am the one
running in the school corridors.
I am the one
sipping tea in the college canteen.
I am the one
blushing for my new crush.
I am the one
silently crying over the breakups.
I am the one
loving the freedom of her first pay.
I am the one
dreaming about the perfect mate.
I am the one
getting confused of late.
I am the one.
loving the life's uncertainties.
I am the one
hating the life's disparities
I am the one
alone yet together will all
And I am the one
of the world and still apart...

But Still as I read somewhere
I am ME and ME is unique!

Open your Hearts...Let Happiness Come in

There are times when some words touch the right chord within you. Though you understand they are profound, still it takes time for your heart and soul to absorb their meaning and even more to talk about them. This is something a friend told me some months ago ,at the book fair - " Rachita, you got to be prepared for happiness; if you stay low and upset how would happiness enter your world?" You meant something so deep my friend that it has taken me months to accept and implement your words in my life.

 

A very simple explanation gave sense to these words - We clean our houses and decorate them before Diwali - with the belief that Goddess Laxmi would come to our place. We don't clean and decorate if and after she comes to our home. We do the same when we know the guests would be coming to our place. But somehow when we want happiness to enter our lives, we forget this simple mantra that we have to be first prepared to welcome happiness. Let's open our hearts and be prepared for happiness to come in.

 

Opening your heart is not only believing that happiness would come but also preparing your body and soul to enjoy it. We get so depressed and affected by downs of life that we forget that life is a cycle that too constantly moving. Good things await us just round the corner but we got to be ready for them. Ultimately whether we are happy or not depends  on our beliefs. And the worst happens when we aren't even able to feel happiness and count our blessings. This happened with someone close to me. Only thing that comes to my mind in such a situation is - Count your blessings and your are alive and breathing is the biggest reason to be happy. 

 

Lately life has taught me a valuable lesson - Happiness would come only if you want it and are prepared to welcome it with your heart, mind and soul. So make changes in the way you think, you live and see life - Be positive and happiness shall find your address. Be depressed , think the worst and happiness will readily forget that you exist. So the crux of the life is everything starts from inside even happiness.

 

 

Stay Happy and Happiness will stay with you.

As the fog cleared

The winters have been rather harsh this year, as fog dulled the clarity of life and vision. So much so that I did not write anything for a long time. There is no excuse but a small fact that the things have been a little confusing...or maybe a lot. I read somewhere that let the dust settle and then express. So, here I am after a long break. Coming back to my foe - the fog, as it cleared, thoughts came out and so did the words. A list came into existence of the topics I would write on in near future but if you know me, you know that none of those will ever feature in my blog. For me writing isn't a therapy, nor a vent of my emotions and neither a long researched article. It's like a burst of energy and if I express it there and then it gets a life else it gets lost in the realm of my mind. So, the topic is rather spontaneous and so is the writing.

 

With this energy missing, nothing came out of the genius ME to write about. Therefore this post isn't actually a post but an expression that the fog is clearing. Let's hope it remains the same because fog blurs sight and even the things otherwise close remain unseen. You live in a haze waiting for it to go away. And it is dangerous to make any move in fog, you never know what could happen. I used this waiting to appreciate the things and people around me, to prioritise what i want and to connect with just me and be a little selfish. So, now when the fog has cleared life looks beautiful with more colours and depth which I missed out before.

 

I love life more, understand people better, maybe have become a little nicer person. I would like to wind this up with a little confession - There are so many people whom I have ignored and so many occasions I missed but I know you all are better human beings than me and hence would forgive my lapses.

 

 

And as the fog clears -

 

I am all for celebrating the occasion/journey called Life. Join me when you get time...