I protest... As a mother of just sons

I have a protest to lodge, just not clear whom  should I approach. We have all kind of special days - mother's, father's, grandparents', daughter's, friends... But we completely missed out son's day. There is no special day to celebrate sons. 

Aren't they special? Or are we so much into daughter appeasement that we don't want to acknowledge being happy about having sons. Somehow, all the posts that we see on social media is about how special a daughter is, that sons have taken an exit from being even appreciated. I am daughter myself, at times I feel bad about my brother., because if you go by these posts, you feel only daughters care about parents, sons are pathetic souls having no emotions. So what if both are raised by same set of parents with same values. Something isn't right with this mindset, atleast not for me. 

By the way, daughter appeasement means we dealt with female child as secondary and now to overcome the centuries worth of guilt, we have started the trend of  appreciating the girl child to an extend  of feeling guilt if we express happiness of being mother of a boy child. I mean a child is a child and a mother's love is simply natural. So why is appreciating a girl child a trend and socially acceptable behaviour and celebrating a male child a sign of backwardness and looked down upon. 

I am mother of two, sons and love them to moon and back. To hell with any norm that makes me feel guilty of being a proud and happy mother of wonderful kids. 

P. S - I don't have high regards for any such days, coz relations are a part of everyday life and need to be celebrated everyday. It's just that this is also a bias. 

Thank you dear student… for my awaited dose of appreciation

 The day was full of people showing their appreciation , gratitude and love for their teachers. From our mothers to teachers to lecturers to colleagues and at times every person we meet teaches us something. My post isn’t about my appreciation for the teachers who have shaped me, I think if I become a good human being it will be a sign of my gratitude, I hope I make them proud. 

This is about a student I taught years ago, before my first kid was born, just for a few months. Then I had to leave for personal reasons, however on teacher’s day years back, this girl who had my number, sent me wishes. In between running through NICU as my son was there, the message brought a smile on my face. Somehow this girl , Ajinder, I won’t disclose much more than name, hasn’t lost my number and each year without fail I get her message. Each year that I haven’t taught, she reminds me the love of a student for the teachers and makes me proud of being one. Now, I am not consistent in sending my wishes, but this student of mine each year makes me feel that either I made a big impression on her or maybe the school teaches her this or maybe it’s her parents who have instilled these values in her. So to you Ajinder and to the person who encourages this small act of yours thank you. You make my year with your message, so much so, that it has become a yearly ritual for await your message.

Thank you for the lovely appreciation message I get from you every year, they have become a part of my yearly dose of positivity. God bless you and give you the best of the world. 

As I enter the Big 4’s

 As I slept Friday night, I was curious about how it would feel getting up in the morning. Would I feel any different? Will I be confident about myself more or feel disenchanted with the world around? Would people treat me differently? Maybe I will behave more maturely? With so many questions attacking  my subconscious, I had weird dreams, though I can’t recall what I saw? But what was so different about Friday, you see I had entered the Big 4’s finally in my life. We talk about “The Big 4’s “ , in professional world, the ultimate top 4 companies of the field we are in, so which company did I get into? That too in pandemic era? I am on break , professionally🤔 so?

The Big 4 do not refer to my professional commitments but my personal milestones….I reached my 40th birthday. Am I supposed to announce this to the world or act a lil feminine and be coy about my age ? But then that has never been me. The Saturday morning wasn’t any different, so I thought as the world talks about 40s being the new 20’s, maybe it will hit me in a while. So I went through my daily tasks, awaiting that burst of maturity, wisdom and energy  to make me feel rejuvenated , it is Sunday evening now and I am still awaiting it….I guess I move slow😜.

But the last 2 or maybe more days have made me realise, it isn’t about hitting a mark in your life whether in terms of age or professional milestones, your being happy depends on just you. I think we need to work on definition of being successful on the way as half the frustrations arise from others  definition of success…your success.  We need to stop making others responsible for making us happy. Be your own favourite person , it isn’t easy but then when did life say that it was easy. I thought being 40, would make me feel more powerful and aware about myself, the only thing it has done is that now I am not conscious about announcing my age to the world. So I guess I have taken step 1 of liberalisation from norms. 

Maybe rest of things that I read in one of the numerous silly “ hitting 40’s” articles will follow and I can see a new me, and maybe my blogs would make more sense to me and everyone. 

Till then happy discovering yourself.

My latest fascination - The werewolves 😎

 Yes, the title is absolutely true. My latest fascination is Werewolves….as in novels aka love stories of werewolves uploaded on free reading websites…like goodnovel.com , dreame.com, webnovel.com, read me apps and so on. To give a little background information - i have fickle fascination drive - initially it was thrillers, then mythological thrillers( I still love them, but Amish Tripathi isn’t coming out with book 4 of Ramayan series), then I watched entire series of GOT…in a month, I moved on everything related to vampires on Amazon prime from The Vampire diaries to Originals to Legacies…(Ah, nothing compares to persona of Klaus Michaelson - dreamy eyes included). Then I got bored of vampires…I mean for long could I digest their drinking blood and killing people like kicking balls… 

Then , enters my new fascination- Facebook had this link from Goodnovel.com, about a love story, normally I avoid them because I hate spending money on online reads - I am a little old school when it comes to reading, smell of books is the best one. So coming back to that link , I read it…liked it they offered me few free coins to unlock few more chapters and then some more to login , read and add books to my list. I said let’s see and started. Here enters the Werewolf - fantasy enough to be away from real world, not gross like vampires exception to tearing clothes while shifting. (There is no werewolf  in India at least I haven’t read one - they belong to gore folk stories here). And I started reading one, now these people are smart, after few free pages, they ask you to top up or come the next day for free coins. Now to pass time , I started reading another - I got free coins if I read for 30 minutes everyday. My library of half read books started increasing and the first love story that brought me here was lost in this crowd. I was hooked onto these fantasy novels. 

Facebook, I tell  you is a detective because now I started getting ads of all free reading websites. So I started reading from another website , same story here for coins and all, then another, so now I have accounts on 4 different reading sites, about 40 plus books in various stages of reading ( not including the ones I deleted from my list) and all of them about werewolves. My latest vocabulary is mates, bond, shifting, moon goddess, alpha, Luna, beta, gamma, omega etc…I dream in these words, my husband is completely clueless. I can read through hours, lost in that world because maybe the real world isn’t that great right now. It’s a good way to forget the nonsense served by news channels. So till next fascination arrives it’s me and my werewolves….ready to read the next one when my kids take nap. FYI I don’t have a problem if I am not able to reach the end of any novel, you see I am a veteran mills and boons reader, I can make my own ending and be happy about them.

Don’t blame me for these weird fascinations, I blame Dan Brown, Amish Tripathi and all for not giving us books on time😔😞. So these werewolves flicks will serve the time. Don’t suggest nice realistic options to read better stuff - I am surrounded by kids stories,  cartoons, poems and games the whole day. I can only read light stuff.

P.S - I have a whole collection of really good real,  classics but they need time to read with due respect to the stories and at the moment time is a thing I can’t spare - hence werewolves here I come.

My kid refuses to talk in English…and I am ok with that

 Let me clear one thing before I start, I am an English language teacher,( a good one as per me😜) and hence people assume my kids would be experts in the language whether spoken or written. Leave people aside, even I thought I will make my kids super experts in the language I teach my students, as I will start early with them. 

My son , elder one is a calm though determined character, a Spider-Man in making. I started with poems early with him, but then he is a bit like me - he refused to follow my instructions, the dad bit in him became expert in handling phone and remote, he would change channels. I would sit there completely clueless whether to be upset about it, or smile at his antics of talking in language of whichever cartoon he was following. He never stuck to one for long. 

He is nearly six now, I am the only relaxed person at home, in view of his disinterest in talking in English consciously. Though I have observed he does talk unconsciously a lot in English  when he knows no one is paying attention.( but then a teacher’s ears are very sharp). I have realised that I can’t force this kid , you see he has picked up words like…”TABAH” and “BARBAAD” , the first time I heard them I laughed like crazy and said,” don’t kill me son,  your mom is a teacher,”, abashed he replied, “ main sab tehes nehas kar dunga”. I left the room before suffering my first heart attack.

To be honest, I am not worried about his lack of interest , my focus is that he learns to express ( which him being less talkative is a task in itself) which is the first goal of any language. I would rather he express, the language is secondary. He will learn, and I will be there to guide him. And believe me , he will do well after all he is my kid🤣. Till then, I am scared to know that which next word will he pick from his latest cartoon, currently junior Singham.

Just to add, my younger one is a step ahead, he refuses to speak if he can explain with sounds, gestures or just one word. But he repeats whatever his elder brother says. So imagine what he will learn.

P.S - let your kid speak, no matter what language because that more important. And enjoy the words they learn, and surprise or shock you with….