Just because....

Just because I refuse to play victim,

Don't cast me as a vamp.

Just because I am not shedding tears,
Don't think smiling has been easy.

Just because I didn't hold on,
Don't think letting go was a cakewalk.

Just because I didn't break down,
Don't assume I am made of stone.

Just because I don't share my feelings,
Don't whisper I am heartless.

Just because I am surviving it all,
Don't say it was my choice.

Asal se pyara sood... Does it work on younger brother too?

Age old saying " Asal se pyara sood", roughly translated - you love the grandchildren more than the children. Adding to same, younger sibling is almost your child, pay attention to it bhai. (Albeit you feel like killing them almost every day in your teenage years). I was thinking about it lately, so is the extra love waali feeling true for the kids of your younger brother too( for the ones who have younger sisters , read sister) ? I fell in love with my brother at first sight on the day he was born, bachho ko samajh kahan hoti he- i didn’t know what an irritating fellow he would turn out to be when he grows up. ( hence, the murderous streak in me). 

Four years to the day, he and his wife were blessed with a baby boy. A cute lil cherub, with face almost like his dad but the disposition of his mom ,hopefully. I fell in love again with his baby on the day he was born. I saw my son doing the same. I rejoiced in their bond that has extended to now troublesome three Musketeers at home. This lil boy, made me live my brother’s childhood again, you see we all have tendencies to draw similarities between kids and parents. And I loved reminiscing those times when I could love my brother unconditionally 😜, before his irritating teens started. I waited for his first words, first steps, first kiss and hugs, I was scared for him on his first day of school, I prided on each of his achievements ( though credit lies with his mom mostly). It was almost like having three babies myself.

I fell in love with his smile, the way he says haanji, the way his eyes reflect his naughtiness, the way he is ready to dance the moment music starts, I mostly love the way he stands up for what he wants. My love for him is  - just love, I see him and I smile. So on this day, my darling Shaurya Aneja, Happy Birthday....Bua loves you.

P.S.   - Bhai , I feel title is true, forget about murder intentions, I can’t even see his tears. Asal se pyaar sood.

The moments that make me hate my city......Saddi Dilli

 I am hardcore Delhiite , in love with my city with all its pros and cons. It makes me feel alive by just being here. What’s there not to love here - great people ( writer included), awesome food, all types of weathers, wide roads , great education institutions, lovely shopping avenues to satisfy all types of shopaholics. I can go on and on about Delhi ...ye city dil mein samajh  aati he...If you use your minds you can easily hate it...but then even the name Dilli has dil...aka heart in it.

Even so twice a year, I hate the city like anything, this feeling has intensified over last few years. Let me clarify , I don’t hate the city because of -

• It’s pollution issues
• Dengue, chickenguniea, swine flu scares
• It serves as dharna point to all and everyone 
• Roads are choked at peak hours
• Schools at time charge too high
• People are too loud
• Anger lies even in our nails..(phew  ☹️what an expression) 
• Stray dogs that are never sterilised
• Illegal constructions that change the areas...and many more

No , my hatred is something fundamental, it stems from a quality that everyone loves the most about the city- the luxury of having 4 seasons  in Dilli...Delhi.  I hate the fact that each time summer changes to winters...and vice versa, We go through the harrowing task of opening trunks and taking out season appropriate clothes, blankets, sweaters, shirts, jackets, lowers,....and so on and put the non required ones in storage. Now the ones who do the task ,read women ,understand what I mean. It’s a completely mind boggling and tiring and boring chore. And on top of it we have to do it twice a year, because saddi Dilli enjoys great summers and great winters😡. Use poncho jo ye sab karate he, I dislike the task.

Now the whole exercise has become even more cumbersome in last few years... due to my little ones, these boys have bundles of clothes, that need to neatly packed , stored at a place that is easily accessible , properly divided into sections of new, home clothes, night clothes, small size, to be given away - bags. Add to it ...two cherubs who think their mommy is emptying trunks for them to sit in and the clothes are all together to be spread on the floor and make waves or weapons with . The whole exercise takes a totally different connotation, one where at times a day’s task stretches to weeks and my body as well as mind just about give up. 

So Delhi...meri Dilli - I love your weathers but I hate this store and reopen exercise, it’s like two semester system.  Kuch to  karo,  because the task in on at the moment and I am lost in the sea of clothes.

The kids are finally taking the afternoon nap, maybe I can complete a major portion of the task, wish me luck .