The confused me

Over the last few months,
I wrote a lot of blogs.

Then discarded a few,
Hid some under the mat,
Bookmarked a couple and
Forgot about those left half written .

But when it came to posting even one,
I had my reasons for choosing none.

Either it was too personal
Or it lost the track.
I started to doubt each word,
And found the unseen cracks.

What have I done to myself,
As I pondered one fine day.

I see a new trait within me
And I don't like it at all.
It does not make me happy ,
I am confused a lot.

Am I craving for acceptance of my blogs,
Or just vary of expressing what I feel.
Somewhere along the journey,
The writer in me lost her zeal.

Dear me...help me find the lost part...
The happiness in writing
The complete blog...
The confused me is scratching her head...
Did I just write something sane
Or is it again mess?