A tale of 5 kids

Kids become epicenter of your house from the moment they are born. They form their own bonds, own ways of communication and a connection with the people around especially other kids. 

At the moment life has become a little monotonous, meeting friends and relatives seems like dream that we hope will true soon. It’s the kids who are missing socialising the most and learning from peers and elders and even younger cousins. Now I am not writing a mental health blog, leaving that to experts.  I am writing what I have realised over last few weeks, my kids have their own special connection with their cousins, it’s kinda sneak peek into some golden memories.

Both my kids were pre mature, that hasn’t stopped them from creating havoc around, so take off that look from your face. So when my elder kid (A) was born and brought home a few weeks later, his elder cousin sister (M)became a fierce protector, “  don’t touch him without sanitising your hand,”, she would seriously tell to everyone no matter what age and relation. She is still that protective and my kid A is a great fan of hers, he would listen and follow all instructions if you just let him know that didi said so. Love you M.

Oh I forgot about the eldest cousin brother (C), a typical teenager, showed off he doesn’t care, but would keep an eye out for A whenever I would step out. I knew that and smiled a lot. He is a great kid. He loves teasing A, so much but then maybe A senses his love and care and follows him around. He knows you love him, so no need to hide behind I don’t care persona C, we love you you too.

Next was the first younger cousin A saw, (B.) He fell in love with that small bundle and wanted him to start playing with him. We had to pull him away from him. Then they grew up and became frenemy. They would miss each other a lot, meet play together like Ram Lakhan for exactly 40 minutes and then world war. Thankfully things have improved. But we love you B, because you love him.

Now enters the hero, my younger kid , Y. And believe me he is the boss. And he knows that. He thinks he owns the world and everybody is here to love and pamper him. This is true because all his brother and sister love him. We aren’t as elders allowed to scold him, specially  around B. So secure in that protection, he is a happy kid. He does not understand everything they say, but the way he responds to them is so beautiful to watch.

You should their smiles when they now video chat, the way the ask when can we meet again? It’s lovely to see them jumping when they see each other, when they go through old photos of being with them. Oh god keep their bond like this only.

That’s the lovely kid group around my kids, keeping them safe, loved and grounded.

They have lovely connections with other second cousins too, let’s keep that for another time.

Bless you all. Stay safe and healthy.

Just because....

Just because I refuse to play victim,

Don't cast me as a vamp.

Just because I am not shedding tears,
Don't think smiling has been easy.

Just because I didn't hold on,
Don't think letting go was a cakewalk.

Just because I didn't break down,
Don't assume I am made of stone.

Just because I don't share my feelings,
Don't whisper I am heartless.

Just because I am surviving it all,
Don't say it was my choice.

Asal se pyara sood... Does it work on younger brother too?

Age old saying " Asal se pyara sood", roughly translated - you love the grandchildren more than the children. Adding to same, younger sibling is almost your child, pay attention to it bhai. (Albeit you feel like killing them almost every day in your teenage years). I was thinking about it lately, so is the extra love waali feeling true for the kids of your younger brother too( for the ones who have younger sisters , read sister) ? I fell in love with my brother at first sight on the day he was born, bachho ko samajh kahan hoti he- i didn’t know what an irritating fellow he would turn out to be when he grows up. ( hence, the murderous streak in me). 

Four years to the day, he and his wife were blessed with a baby boy. A cute lil cherub, with face almost like his dad but the disposition of his mom ,hopefully. I fell in love again with his baby on the day he was born. I saw my son doing the same. I rejoiced in their bond that has extended to now troublesome three Musketeers at home. This lil boy, made me live my brother’s childhood again, you see we all have tendencies to draw similarities between kids and parents. And I loved reminiscing those times when I could love my brother unconditionally 😜, before his irritating teens started. I waited for his first words, first steps, first kiss and hugs, I was scared for him on his first day of school, I prided on each of his achievements ( though credit lies with his mom mostly). It was almost like having three babies myself.

I fell in love with his smile, the way he says haanji, the way his eyes reflect his naughtiness, the way he is ready to dance the moment music starts, I mostly love the way he stands up for what he wants. My love for him is  - just love, I see him and I smile. So on this day, my darling Shaurya Aneja, Happy Birthday....Bua loves you.

P.S.   - Bhai , I feel title is true, forget about murder intentions, I can’t even see his tears. Asal se pyaar sood.

The moments that make me hate my city......Saddi Dilli

 I am hardcore Delhiite , in love with my city with all its pros and cons. It makes me feel alive by just being here. What’s there not to love here - great people ( writer included), awesome food, all types of weathers, wide roads , great education institutions, lovely shopping avenues to satisfy all types of shopaholics. I can go on and on about Delhi ...ye city dil mein samajh  aati he...If you use your minds you can easily hate it...but then even the name Dilli has dil...aka heart in it.

Even so twice a year, I hate the city like anything, this feeling has intensified over last few years. Let me clarify , I don’t hate the city because of -

• It’s pollution issues
• Dengue, chickenguniea, swine flu scares
• It serves as dharna point to all and everyone 
• Roads are choked at peak hours
• Schools at time charge too high
• People are too loud
• Anger lies even in our nails..(phew  ☹️what an expression) 
• Stray dogs that are never sterilised
• Illegal constructions that change the areas...and many more

No , my hatred is something fundamental, it stems from a quality that everyone loves the most about the city- the luxury of having 4 seasons  in Dilli...Delhi.  I hate the fact that each time summer changes to winters...and vice versa, We go through the harrowing task of opening trunks and taking out season appropriate clothes, blankets, sweaters, shirts, jackets, lowers,....and so on and put the non required ones in storage. Now the ones who do the task ,read women ,understand what I mean. It’s a completely mind boggling and tiring and boring chore. And on top of it we have to do it twice a year, because saddi Dilli enjoys great summers and great winters😡. Use poncho jo ye sab karate he, I dislike the task.

Now the whole exercise has become even more cumbersome in last few years... due to my little ones, these boys have bundles of clothes, that need to neatly packed , stored at a place that is easily accessible , properly divided into sections of new, home clothes, night clothes, small size, to be given away - bags. Add to it ...two cherubs who think their mommy is emptying trunks for them to sit in and the clothes are all together to be spread on the floor and make waves or weapons with . The whole exercise takes a totally different connotation, one where at times a day’s task stretches to weeks and my body as well as mind just about give up. 

So Delhi...meri Dilli - I love your weathers but I hate this store and reopen exercise, it’s like two semester system.  Kuch to  karo,  because the task in on at the moment and I am lost in the sea of clothes.

The kids are finally taking the afternoon nap, maybe I can complete a major portion of the task, wish me luck .

What do women want .......a wife?

 A question that is asked across continents and ages...men unable to find answer or maybe not wanting to find an answer...to the simplest and most basic question ever....What do women want?  Let me start with the famous line ... ‘Men are from Mars and women are from Venus, ..which is utter nonsense as it promotes the notion that men and women want different things, what we forget is the underlying similarity between men and women ...that both are humans thereby basic needs remain same.

Now, I am not going to be all philosophical in the blog but I have realised that what women want is something that can not be bought but is available to most men throughout life.....what women want is simply a wife.... . ( I am neither promoting same sex relationship nor am against it ...to each his/ her own way of living). I meant the concept of wife .... just think of the ways wives makes life easy for men around the world. She takes away the mundane, boring routine tasks from her husband and gives him interesting tasks at home and also gives him due credit , sometimes even on social networks , for helping to manage things at his own house. Can you imagine a husband writing a thank you note for the wife earning to share expenditures of home every month ? But that’s what a wife does normally when the hubby cooks or cleans... . You see , even I have tasks divided in my patriarchal mindset...household for women and earning for men. 

Doing same tasks everyday gets on our nerves, reduces creativity and makes us irritable. How I wish someone could take over tasks like doing laundry, picking up kids toys and placing them at right place, arrange their cupboards and school stuff and other numerous non ending household chores,  so that I am left with energy and mindset to play and dance with kids... something my husband finds time for. A mother is left with cleaning the mess and arranging basic needs and a father becomes a hero because he can make kids enjoy. A woman easily becomes tired, boring and a joy killer. So, I am pretty sure that a woman needs a .....wife - someone she can rely on. Someone whose presence ensures that home front runs smoothly, someone who doesn’t make her feel guilty of having me time or time with friends sometimes, someone who is there for her to take care of her when she is tired, sick or moody like a wife does for husband. So basically she needs a person who takes away her worries and makes her feel she can do what she wants without being boggled by taking burdens of house chores alone. What a woman does often remains unnoticed because it’s a part of everyday household tasks, nothing visibly different, so she doesn’t get that appreciation which makes her feel unloved, so a woman needs a wife to feel loved, appreciated and acknowledged because let’s be honest - husband forget and never say the right words.

So dear world, don’t just give her freedom to pursue her dreams, give her a guilt free environment to enjoy her life ... give her the feeling that her world that is her house wouldn’t crumble if she enjoys being sometimes. No woman comes stamped with expertise in doing household tasks, she learns because ther is no one to do them, no one to share those burdens on a regular basis. Be that man and see her smile all day. Be her wife sometimes, she will be yours truly with whole heart and a smile as long as a mile.

P. S - I discussed the viewpoint with my husband long time back...so no surprises for him.

P. S 2 - He didn’t agree with my viewpoint....but I still wrote about it....I guess because we are different....like magnet and iron....it keeps us together.