The craziness of February

Come February and social media goes crazy... each site turns romantic.

From clothes to dinners to getaways to gifts and what not. Each one wants you to declare that your relationship has so much to show. Somehow love, reality and feelings hide in a closet for a week and the social side comes out - gets dusted, painted and shined for the world to know you are the "in" couple. 

Lately I am getting tired of these out of the world contests on Facebook, wherein you answer with hashtags and tag your friends and you may win or those temporary profile pics. I belong to the old school of relationships -  If you have so much time...give it to your spouse ...partner.. . friend or family instead of tagging them...be with the one who means you the world.

Maybe I am cynical, maybe I would sound spoilsport but still -  Am I the only one who wishes to remove these contests?

Celebrate love...enjoy the Valentine week to the fullest...but spare me the updates... 

Or my husband might be facing a tough situation. You never know the practical me might get carried away with this growing fever and start expecting a public declaration from him. For him and many more( I think  majority of husbands) please save them from a nagging wife .

P.S - I love all the lovely photographs that my friends share....at times I get jealous , at times I wonder how do they manage to enjoy so much and at times I wish I had something so beautiful to share...

To all you beautiful people....may you be blessed and keep sharing it helps - specially while arguing with the husband. 

My World Has Shrunk

There was a time, when I loved reading newspapers.
There was a time, when I craved for heated debates.
There was a time, when I was fascinated with political discussions.
There was a time , when I enjoyed getting into intellectual arguments.

O honey, my world has shrunk.
I now love reading my baby's expressions.
I crave for his babbling when he sleeps.
I get fascinated with his never ending curiosity.
I enjoy our alien language sessions.

This little two feet chimp has turned my life upside down,
I can't complain and don't want to frown.
O honey , my world has shrunk,
And I am loving it even more.

The confused me

Over the last few months,
I wrote a lot of blogs.

Then discarded a few,
Hid some under the mat,
Bookmarked a couple and
Forgot about those left half written .

But when it came to posting even one,
I had my reasons for choosing none.

Either it was too personal
Or it lost the track.
I started to doubt each word,
And found the unseen cracks.

What have I done to myself,
As I pondered one fine day.

I see a new trait within me
And I don't like it at all.
It does not make me happy ,
I am confused a lot.

Am I craving for acceptance of my blogs,
Or just vary of expressing what I feel.
Somewhere along the journey,
The writer in me lost her zeal.

Dear me...help me find the lost part...
The happiness in writing
The complete blog...
The confused me is scratching her head...
Did I just write something sane
Or is it again mess?

Kamli

“Kamli” that’s what my nanu used to call me or calls me as my heart still refuses to accept that it will never happen again.

My nanaji , maternal grandfather or daddy as we call him,is/was one of the gentlest souls I have ever seen in my life. All he ever spread in his life is/was goodwill and blessings. It is because of the same that everyone who knew him smiles when they talk about him.

I have not been to his house since he left us, maybe that way a tiny part of my heart is keeping him alive for me. Maybe if I don’t go , he would call and say in his usual tone ‘ Kamli, kab aayegi?’ And I would give the same reply , “jaldi…dukh sukhh bantne.”

It’s not easy to accept that you will never call me again Daddy…

It’s not easy to accept that nobody will call me kamli again…

It’s not easy to accept that I will never see you again…

It’s not easy to accept that we will never see your innocent smiles…

It’s not easy to accept that you would never (fake)scold us for making ruckus at midnight..

In truth daddy it’s not easy to accept you are not there…

There will never be call when I would hear…”Kamli, kab aayegi?”

P.S – I went to his place …. Unable to accept he isn’t there…finally made some sort of peace with myself.

Though you will always be missed, though there always will be a place empty in the family photograph…but Daddy we will remember you with a smile because that’s what you gave all of us and keep in mind that you never held a grudge..so though I am upset with you for leaving us…no grudges…

Rest in Peace Daddy, your family is safe and blossoming in the blessings you send our way.

Kamli – an endearing way of calling a girl “slightly mad or carefree”.

Fasana

लफ्ज़ मेरे तू सुन न सका,

ख़ामोशी की ज़ुबान समझेगा क्या?

खुशियों का रिश्ता बनता हे वहां,

दर्द  की कहानी  छुपी  हो जहाँ।

तेरे इंतज़ार में गुज़र गया जो वक़्त,

तेरे आने पे मिल सकेगा क्या?

आया तेरा ख्याल क्यों मेरे सवालों में,

इस वाक्यें को भी बयां करते हैं । 

 

इक फ़साने में तेरा जिक्र आया था ,

वरना यकींन कर हम तुझे याद नहीं करते।

सीख लिया हैं इन आँखों ने अब,

तेरे नाम पे अब मुस्कुराना।