Yes, I am a mother and I love my kids differently.

The post is my personal view not a general statement on mothers, though I feel most would agree even if not openly 😜.

We grow up hearing that a mother’s love for all her kids is same. And still, we all at one instance or other have teased our siblings about the fact that ‘our mother loves me the most’. I always thought - do even mothers have their favourite child ?- a child she loves the most. And, I assumed logically it’s very much possible. After all, a painter has a favourite painting , a poet has a favourite poem, so what’s wrong if a mother has a favourite child.

Now life jumps a few years, I had my first child and realised I can’t love anyone like I love him. The love that you have for the first child consumes all other emotions. Your world changes, you change and perspectives change. The definition of milestones change, hence I realised that I was right and told my younger brother that now being a mother, I can say that mom loves me the most. ( loved his sad face 🤪).

Time leap - another 3 years, now I am mother of two. I asked myself the same question again - Do I love both my kids the same way?  The answer is - NO, I don’t.  I love them differently. Before you start shaking your heads , I never said I love one less than the other. It’s just that I love them differently because both are different personalities, they came into my life at different points, they made me realise different things about life and touch different chords in my heart. But together or even separately  the chords produced only one tune - love ,which was pure and innocent.

When my first kid was born, I became a control freak, special washing powder, gels, oils, utensils, 4-5 cloth changing sessions in day, clicking photos for everything, paranoid about people touching him, possessive , concerned about even a slight sneeze , first time mothers have it difficult specially in age of ‘google’ baba... I took his each achievement of milestone as personal victory. Then I had my second child, but I found that the control freak in me  wasn’t there, I simply sat there and enjoyed his antics, was calm about his little illnesses. Believe me it was strange because while my elder one gave me no stress , the younger one lets the whole world know that his demands are being ignored at home. 

So, yes I love them both differently but equally. To be honest , my eldest son is my pride and my younger son - my joy. One gave me the greatest feeling in the world , the other taught me to savour that feeling. One made me a mother and the other a referee 🤪. 

To both my sons - I love you both and can’t imagine life without you .( Though, I wouldn’t mind some time off every few days.)