As I enter the Big 4’s

 As I slept Friday night, I was curious about how it would feel getting up in the morning. Would I feel any different? Will I be confident about myself more or feel disenchanted with the world around? Would people treat me differently? Maybe I will behave more maturely? With so many questions attacking  my subconscious, I had weird dreams, though I can’t recall what I saw? But what was so different about Friday, you see I had entered the Big 4’s finally in my life. We talk about “The Big 4’s “ , in professional world, the ultimate top 4 companies of the field we are in, so which company did I get into? That too in pandemic era? I am on break , professionally🤔 so?

The Big 4 do not refer to my professional commitments but my personal milestones….I reached my 40th birthday. Am I supposed to announce this to the world or act a lil feminine and be coy about my age ? But then that has never been me. The Saturday morning wasn’t any different, so I thought as the world talks about 40s being the new 20’s, maybe it will hit me in a while. So I went through my daily tasks, awaiting that burst of maturity, wisdom and energy  to make me feel rejuvenated , it is Sunday evening now and I am still awaiting it….I guess I move slow😜.

But the last 2 or maybe more days have made me realise, it isn’t about hitting a mark in your life whether in terms of age or professional milestones, your being happy depends on just you. I think we need to work on definition of being successful on the way as half the frustrations arise from others  definition of success…your success.  We need to stop making others responsible for making us happy. Be your own favourite person , it isn’t easy but then when did life say that it was easy. I thought being 40, would make me feel more powerful and aware about myself, the only thing it has done is that now I am not conscious about announcing my age to the world. So I guess I have taken step 1 of liberalisation from norms. 

Maybe rest of things that I read in one of the numerous silly “ hitting 40’s” articles will follow and I can see a new me, and maybe my blogs would make more sense to me and everyone. 

Till then happy discovering yourself.

My latest fascination - The werewolves 😎

 Yes, the title is absolutely true. My latest fascination is Werewolves….as in novels aka love stories of werewolves uploaded on free reading websites…like goodnovel.com , dreame.com, webnovel.com, read me apps and so on. To give a little background information - i have fickle fascination drive - initially it was thrillers, then mythological thrillers( I still love them, but Amish Tripathi isn’t coming out with book 4 of Ramayan series), then I watched entire series of GOT…in a month, I moved on everything related to vampires on Amazon prime from The Vampire diaries to Originals to Legacies…(Ah, nothing compares to persona of Klaus Michaelson - dreamy eyes included). Then I got bored of vampires…I mean for long could I digest their drinking blood and killing people like kicking balls… 

Then , enters my new fascination- Facebook had this link from Goodnovel.com, about a love story, normally I avoid them because I hate spending money on online reads - I am a little old school when it comes to reading, smell of books is the best one. So coming back to that link , I read it…liked it they offered me few free coins to unlock few more chapters and then some more to login , read and add books to my list. I said let’s see and started. Here enters the Werewolf - fantasy enough to be away from real world, not gross like vampires exception to tearing clothes while shifting. (There is no werewolf  in India at least I haven’t read one - they belong to gore folk stories here). And I started reading one, now these people are smart, after few free pages, they ask you to top up or come the next day for free coins. Now to pass time , I started reading another - I got free coins if I read for 30 minutes everyday. My library of half read books started increasing and the first love story that brought me here was lost in this crowd. I was hooked onto these fantasy novels. 

Facebook, I tell  you is a detective because now I started getting ads of all free reading websites. So I started reading from another website , same story here for coins and all, then another, so now I have accounts on 4 different reading sites, about 40 plus books in various stages of reading ( not including the ones I deleted from my list) and all of them about werewolves. My latest vocabulary is mates, bond, shifting, moon goddess, alpha, Luna, beta, gamma, omega etc…I dream in these words, my husband is completely clueless. I can read through hours, lost in that world because maybe the real world isn’t that great right now. It’s a good way to forget the nonsense served by news channels. So till next fascination arrives it’s me and my werewolves….ready to read the next one when my kids take nap. FYI I don’t have a problem if I am not able to reach the end of any novel, you see I am a veteran mills and boons reader, I can make my own ending and be happy about them.

Don’t blame me for these weird fascinations, I blame Dan Brown, Amish Tripathi and all for not giving us books on time😔😞. So these werewolves flicks will serve the time. Don’t suggest nice realistic options to read better stuff - I am surrounded by kids stories,  cartoons, poems and games the whole day. I can only read light stuff.

P.S - I have a whole collection of really good real,  classics but they need time to read with due respect to the stories and at the moment time is a thing I can’t spare - hence werewolves here I come.

My kid refuses to talk in English…and I am ok with that

 Let me clear one thing before I start, I am an English language teacher,( a good one as per me😜) and hence people assume my kids would be experts in the language whether spoken or written. Leave people aside, even I thought I will make my kids super experts in the language I teach my students, as I will start early with them. 

My son , elder one is a calm though determined character, a Spider-Man in making. I started with poems early with him, but then he is a bit like me - he refused to follow my instructions, the dad bit in him became expert in handling phone and remote, he would change channels. I would sit there completely clueless whether to be upset about it, or smile at his antics of talking in language of whichever cartoon he was following. He never stuck to one for long. 

He is nearly six now, I am the only relaxed person at home, in view of his disinterest in talking in English consciously. Though I have observed he does talk unconsciously a lot in English  when he knows no one is paying attention.( but then a teacher’s ears are very sharp). I have realised that I can’t force this kid , you see he has picked up words like…”TABAH” and “BARBAAD” , the first time I heard them I laughed like crazy and said,” don’t kill me son,  your mom is a teacher,”, abashed he replied, “ main sab tehes nehas kar dunga”. I left the room before suffering my first heart attack.

To be honest, I am not worried about his lack of interest , my focus is that he learns to express ( which him being less talkative is a task in itself) which is the first goal of any language. I would rather he express, the language is secondary. He will learn, and I will be there to guide him. And believe me , he will do well after all he is my kid🤣. Till then, I am scared to know that which next word will he pick from his latest cartoon, currently junior Singham.

Just to add, my younger one is a step ahead, he refuses to speak if he can explain with sounds, gestures or just one word. But he repeats whatever his elder brother says. So imagine what he will learn.

P.S - let your kid speak, no matter what language because that more important. And enjoy the words they learn, and surprise or shock you with….

Spider-Man Diaries - chapter 1

  I have been living with Spider-Man stuff for years now, my son is a real big fan of this superhero…. 

So much so that we have everything from bed sheets to bottles to pencils to T-shirts to kids scooter and oh even undies for him with Spider-Man or his logo….the boy had a crazy phase that is still on …

We have these crazy Spider-Man talks ….wherein at times he talks logically but at times the lil kid comes out who just loves his superhero madly. In one such session he asked me…”mumma who is your favourite superhero?” I automatically said “Superman”….He asked me if I could show him some videos….you see superman isn’t that visible alongside Hulk, Ironman etc - the current favourites…

So I showed him one , he saw it and said…he is good but my Spider-Man is better….( His Spider-Man….did he buy the rights?🙄) and stupidly I asked him why? He said innocently…He has webs….Superman ke pass kya he….( I wish I could have said…my teenage dreamy eyes 😋). I said yes , you are right and went back to my work. 

Then suddenly he comes up and says….” I am not happy mumma”, I panicked coz he is a calm child, rarely throwing tantrums so I leave my work, sit with him and ask with all love in my voice…” Why , son?” . He says “ I am trying for a long time, but my webs aren’t coming out”. I stared at him blankly…he said ‘“ Uff, mumma , I told you na I wanted to become Spider-Man when I grow up, so I was practising but web nai nikal rahe”. 

I didn’t know how to reply….still clueless…and he is still bent on becoming Spider-Man when he grows up.

P.S - will be updating new chapter of Spider-Man saga in future…as when something interesting is discussed.

A tale of 5 kids

Kids become epicenter of your house from the moment they are born. They form their own bonds, own ways of communication and a connection with the people around especially other kids. 

At the moment life has become a little monotonous, meeting friends and relatives seems like dream that we hope will true soon. It’s the kids who are missing socialising the most and learning from peers and elders and even younger cousins. Now I am not writing a mental health blog, leaving that to experts.  I am writing what I have realised over last few weeks, my kids have their own special connection with their cousins, it’s kinda sneak peek into some golden memories.

Both my kids were pre mature, that hasn’t stopped them from creating havoc around, so take off that look from your face. So when my elder kid (A) was born and brought home a few weeks later, his elder cousin sister (M)became a fierce protector, “  don’t touch him without sanitising your hand,”, she would seriously tell to everyone no matter what age and relation. She is still that protective and my kid A is a great fan of hers, he would listen and follow all instructions if you just let him know that didi said so. Love you M.

Oh I forgot about the eldest cousin brother (C), a typical teenager, showed off he doesn’t care, but would keep an eye out for A whenever I would step out. I knew that and smiled a lot. He is a great kid. He loves teasing A, so much but then maybe A senses his love and care and follows him around. He knows you love him, so no need to hide behind I don’t care persona C, we love you you too.

Next was the first younger cousin A saw, (B.) He fell in love with that small bundle and wanted him to start playing with him. We had to pull him away from him. Then they grew up and became frenemy. They would miss each other a lot, meet play together like Ram Lakhan for exactly 40 minutes and then world war. Thankfully things have improved. But we love you B, because you love him.

Now enters the hero, my younger kid , Y. And believe me he is the boss. And he knows that. He thinks he owns the world and everybody is here to love and pamper him. This is true because all his brother and sister love him. We aren’t as elders allowed to scold him, specially  around B. So secure in that protection, he is a happy kid. He does not understand everything they say, but the way he responds to them is so beautiful to watch.

You should their smiles when they now video chat, the way the ask when can we meet again? It’s lovely to see them jumping when they see each other, when they go through old photos of being with them. Oh god keep their bond like this only.

That’s the lovely kid group around my kids, keeping them safe, loved and grounded.

They have lovely connections with other second cousins too, let’s keep that for another time.

Bless you all. Stay safe and healthy.