Memories are ...

Memories are a light caress, the touch of a long lost friend;

Hiding behind the classroom desk, winking at you;

And disappear round the bend.

Memories are the lingering fragrance, coming out of cups of coffee;

Underneath that table in the canteen, twinkling at you;

And vanish behind the tree.

Memories are those merry smiles, silly jokes that make you cry;

Found in the margins of photostat notes, laughing at you;

And fade away in time.

Memories are like jingling bells, softly kissing your eardrums;

Popping out of songs and movies, teasing you;

And wane away in tunes.

Memories are like gourmet meals, awakening your tongue to remembered tastes,

Peeping out from waiter’s sleeves, tickling you;

And hide in the filled plates.

Memories are like tears in your eyes, running down your face a mile;

Living in your heart all the time, assuring you;

And then melt away with smiles.

 

Memories are close held treasures, calming you when you steps falter;

Coming out of forgotten dreams, strengthening you;

And dissolve in subconscious.

Memories are the emotional farewells, tugging your heart with shared moments;

Shedding tears and unspoken goodbyes, staying within you;

And come out for the reunions.

Respect - The Cornerstone of "us"

I have been thinking of penning down my thoughts on the topic for a long time now, only the fear that I may not be able to do justice to it, put brakes on my writing for a while.

Relationships include parents, love, siblings, friends and every person you interact with. Though, in this post I am primarily talking about your partner - the person you love. The moment you talk to someone, it creates an 'us'; the life of this 'us' varies from a few seconds to a lifetime. What ensures that all these 'us' exist and prosper in our world? I believe it is because of the feeling called "Respect".

Respect - The Cornerstone of  'us' i.e. relationships. [Cornerstone - a stone placed at the corner of a building to mark the beginning of construction]. If this cornerstone is removed, it damages the very base of the building and if the foundation is damaged, it puts the building in danger. The same thing happens to a relationship when Respect is lost.

If you respect the other person, it creates an atmosphere where other emotions can breathe like - love, like, patience or even hate. The relations especially the long term ones begin with respect. Respect is an essential and foremost ingredient in the curry of relationships. It decides the way you treat your partner, the value you give to his/her presence and opinions, the affect he/she has on your thought process....it guides your feelings. How can you love a person when you can't respect him/her as a human being? Hence, many a relationships have died due to lack of mutual respect.

But, it is not just enough to respect the other person, but also important that your self respect remains intact. (And there is a fine line between self respect and ego). Self respect means drawing a line at the point till which you would adjust to ensure that the relationship survives and you are happy being a part of it. What feelings can live when you believe you are worthless and are put down at every instance?

Relationships last longer when both sides make an effort and respect the other person, his/her feelings, emotions, opinions, values and beliefs. Together they can reach a consensus which acts as a manure in the field of a relationship. In this scenario the relationship will endure all odds and other feelings will coexist. So, stick & fight for your relationship but if you feel you can't respect your partner anymore, let it go. Else, the relationship becomes a parasite on your emotions and well being. Remember, all other feelings have a chance to come back if respect stays, else even love can't hold you both together.

“Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.”     Author Unknown

The Bookmarked Page in her Life Diary

I met Ridhima and Madhur yesterday over a cup of coffee. She gave me two beautiful metal bookmarks bought from Kala Ghoda Arts festival, Mumbai. Why am I telling you all this…coz it triggered a memory – the story of a girl I knew years ago - the main lead of this post…won’t name her, she wouldn’t appreciate.

She has bookmarked this page of her life diary not that she writes one.  

She had just turned thirteen when she saw him for the first time. They were of the same age but opposite in all other ways. She was big city gal and he was from a small town, she was full of mischief and he was the silent types. She looked forward to fights and he would be a calm oasis in the chaos she brought. She was a tomboy and he preferred feminine gals. There was no way two of them could have a story but fate brought them together. He lived across the road from her grandma’s home where she went during holidays. Bundle of energy that she was, she would collect her army of cousins and be out to play every moment of the day. One such day brought him out to see what ruckus was being created in the otherwise quiet street.

As opposites attract, soon he joined her army with his gang of friends. This began a relationship where she would challenge him at every bend, but he would not respond. This irritated her to no end. Why did she want him to see her differently from other guys? Why did she feel like behaving a little girlish around him? Oh, she went through a thoroughly confusing time. She remained a tomboy at her hometown, the guys there didn’t attract her, a part of her remained in that small town and she looked forward to her holiday sojourns.

She wanted him to look at her….and he would. They shared long talks though now she can’t recollect what all they said. He had his own ways of taking care of her, not coming in the limelight but ensuring that she was safe from danger. This was a care she felt but never saw him doing so, and she realised it very late that feelings are like fragrance in the air - felt but not seen. It was a strange attraction, which they both felt but no one spoke aloud. She left no chance to provoke him and pick up a fight….he would gently respond – "I don’t fight with girls". This was an alien territory for her. One day her army and his gang fought breaking the group, she didn’t know how to resolve the tension and he sided with his friends. He approached her army later for reconciliation but it acted pricey(Uff...she came to know it too late). They still looked secretly at each other, each wishing other would heal the rift. Both lacked the courage to come out and speak their feelings(Was it ego or fear of rejection?). 

It took four years for the group to resolve the fight, everyone become friends again but those two- they didn’t know how to talk to each other anymore.  She had dreamt about him everyday and compared him to all the guys she had met.She had created a life in her dreams, with him, and didn’t know how to respond to the reality. Maybe, he had done the same, coz their faces became mirrors and each understood the other, this time without words.

The school days ended and they both entered college. She came to know that he was in her city. She found out his college and was planning to visit but received a blowing news, he already had someone. It hurt her to no end, and stopped her flying wings. Another year went by and her grandma shifted to her city , she saw him for the last time at a distance, he was looking at her, both took a step forward and then stopped, maybe each wanted other to take the second. This is her last memory of him.

Years later she mourns - Maybe I should have talked to him, maybe he should have approached. Had he really found someone or did I pick up the straw because I was afraid of rejection? She told me, had he just asked me once – I would have shifted to that small town for him .Yet another silent love story or just a deep attraction , she still isn’t sure but even now when she talks of him , her face lights up with a gentle loving smile.

 

"The magic of first love is our ignorance that it can never end." - Disraeli.

A part of her still lives in this ignorance and it keeps her happy …who am I to complain?

What's wrong with my cell?

It’s been a couple of hours, my cell didn’t ring;

No messages, no updates, the screen didn’t even blink.

Has everyone forgotten me, or deleted my number;

Are friends and foes together in this plan?

My mind has gone bonkers, can’t think of a reason,

Why this stupid machine is bent on treason?

I am missing the sound of its ring tone;

That message beep which knocks my eye drums.

I remember those days some time ago,

When my cell was working and was at its best,

It wouldn't stop and never thought of rest;

What happened to the poor thing , I can’t guess?

I am missing those long talks and sms chats;

Is my cell on strike ? Can anyone help?

I think , I have gone crazy but I don’t care,

Oh Dear Cell screen! Please blink, for I am scared.

It’s good to lose temper…sometimes!

Losing temper is such a stress relieving exercise. The ones who do so , would understand what I am talking about. For the other lily white, calm, patient and sweet people – this post might be an eye opener. It’s a great feeling to lose temper and vent out what you really feel without the mask of manners and poise. It leaves you feeling very light and stress free. I recommend one should do it once in a while …not often else it becomes a part of your personality and not an exercise.

Losing temper often is bad for health not only of the person who loses temper but also for those who have to bear the brunt of it. It takes away the positivity of the environment and also ends up adding negative points in the credit of the person losing the temper. Hey Baghwan… I am again going off the track. Coming back to my topic, I believe highlighting the positive aspects of losing temper is a very important task, and as my community service initiative I should take it up.

Just imagine that you are not confined by - the narrow walls of manners, the shackles of etiquette, the bars of communication skills and veil of anger management techniques. In such a freedom of expression phase , you can vent out your true feeling, specially anger. That’s the moment of utter peace when you are in touch with your inner devil. You can scream, shout and show your irritation without any restriction and let the other (poor) being know what you really think and feel about the situation and the person. But, how does that help you, for this read on without preconceived notions on the same - when you vent out your anger, you let out the negative inside you, your frustrations spill out and the blockages to your creativity get washed away. After all the negative that is stored inside moves out, it leaves a lot of space for the positive to move in. It makes you feel light, free and ready to take on life.

Am I an advocate of losing temper? No, I recommend losing temper once in while, which is really good for your emotional and creative well being, this is a tried and tested formula without any side effects. Only keep in mind that either you know how to mend fences with the people you scream at or the people you scream at, should not be important enough to feel sad for, if you lose them…! I can’t explain the technique of losing temper, that you have to learn on your own, but my helpful nature is urging me to give you all some tips, so here we go:

1. Either do not lose temper or do it in style – use your vocal chords to the optimum.

2. Give yourself 2-3 months in between such shows of temper.

3. Do not forget to eat when angry, being angry is very energy consuming.

4. Remember to keep the temper high for at least a few hours.

5. Do not stop yourself from saying, sorry screaming your real feelings.

6. Do not allow the person to explain the situation, else what’s the fun in losing temper.

7. Never forget one thing - it’s your temper and your life….enjoy it.


I hope the lucky seven tips above help you. Lose temper and feel the negativity flow out.
P.S. – Learn to scream and shout before you start the above exercise.