As the fog cleared

The winters have been rather harsh this year, as fog dulled the clarity of life and vision. So much so that I did not write anything for a long time. There is no excuse but a small fact that the things have been a little confusing...or maybe a lot. I read somewhere that let the dust settle and then express. So, here I am after a long break. Coming back to my foe - the fog, as it cleared, thoughts came out and so did the words. A list came into existence of the topics I would write on in near future but if you know me, you know that none of those will ever feature in my blog. For me writing isn't a therapy, nor a vent of my emotions and neither a long researched article. It's like a burst of energy and if I express it there and then it gets a life else it gets lost in the realm of my mind. So, the topic is rather spontaneous and so is the writing.

 

With this energy missing, nothing came out of the genius ME to write about. Therefore this post isn't actually a post but an expression that the fog is clearing. Let's hope it remains the same because fog blurs sight and even the things otherwise close remain unseen. You live in a haze waiting for it to go away. And it is dangerous to make any move in fog, you never know what could happen. I used this waiting to appreciate the things and people around me, to prioritise what i want and to connect with just me and be a little selfish. So, now when the fog has cleared life looks beautiful with more colours and depth which I missed out before.

 

I love life more, understand people better, maybe have become a little nicer person. I would like to wind this up with a little confession - There are so many people whom I have ignored and so many occasions I missed but I know you all are better human beings than me and hence would forgive my lapses.

 

 

And as the fog clears -

 

I am all for celebrating the occasion/journey called Life. Join me when you get time...

A Silent Plea

It was thudding softy, whispering a tale
it was cold around, inside it was in flames,
the heart was full and poring out
telling a tale, a silent plea..

Seen so much and heard a lot,
so much unspoken that hurt
the heart,
and unspoken was a silent plea...

The fluttering wings showed a sign,
a gesture maybe to reach out
Did courage fail at the last count?
hidden there was a silent plea...

Caught in the cage looking around
eyes in itself a sad song,
a sparrow that couldn't sing her song.
It remained a silent plea...

Oh, somebody take a look
Can't you see the unshed tears,
let it fly...high and free
Somebody please hear its silent plea.
 

My Album, My Choice

There are days we flick through our life's album, the one where all the important people and occasions are captured as photographs(our memories). Some of which will make us smile, on some tears would be shed, some would be seen with regret and some will make us fall in love again - with life and ourselves.

 

Over past some days , I have been flicking through my album a lot.(This sort of introspection is possible when you have time in hand. And that is something I have in abundance now a days). There were some wonderful moments captured there, great locations, awesome people and lots of emotions and colours.( Let me take the opportunity to say - I have a wonderful set of friends touche'wood). The album was an eye opening experience. I found though I had a lot of smiles, friends, family and love but somehow anger, bitterness, animosity and tears also have made a place in there. How did that happen? Maybe the same way lot of unnecessary things make place in our cupboards and almirahs. We stop taking out time for ourselves and clean our memory drive. We need to delete the pictures that make us feel negative emotions. But to do this we have to take out some time and get down to task in hand.

 

The task isn't easy and I have been doing a lot of it lately. I have gone through some heavy doses of emotions as I went on the journey that my album took me on. There were some places I adored and would have loved to stay there forever, some places which taught me the lessons of life, some that made me believe in myself again, some that gave me feel good to last for a while. But to my shock, there were some I didn't like and thought...what are these doing in my collection. They were a part of life that better be left behind, not even carried forward in memories. Just looking at them made me remember the times best be forgotten, when you get fooled, when you learn that life isn't all white, when you wish you could hide. These pictures fill you with negativity and better be deleted. So, I did a lot of deletion. Not of people but occasions coz no matter what - each person you meet atleast brings one moment of positivity in your life. After deletions, the album looks like me - sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes sweet , sometimes mad but totally crazy. As, I have already mentioned earlier, I am in love with myself so my album has to be me.

 

So, the moral of the story is - It's my Album and hence my choice of what pictures stay there ad which I delete. Hope that you all do the same. Choose your photographs with care.

 

 

P.S : Papa is right when he says " it makes you feel better and lighter once you throw out the dirt from home, cupboards or even life". Love you dad.

Saving my sanity

I have lately been infatuated with ... a game called Spider Solitaire. And the whole scenario is turning crazier day by day. I know it sounds silly but the game is coming between me and my thoughts. Almost as much as an unread book on my bedside. For those who do not know of it (though you would be in minority)…this game comes with the Windows Software and is highly addictive. Our forefathers were right that the game of cards is dangerous. Had there been any money involved this game, I would have made and lost fortune many times over.

 

Now, what prompted me to write about this, was a movie that I saw lately. A scene there had an alcoholic saying that talking about it is the first step to fighting the addiction. So I decided to write about mine. If you have played any game on mobile or computer and got hooked to it, you would understand my problem. I am always saying to myself, this would be my last game (of the day/hour), or another 5 minutes or just till I finish a game under ‘these’ many moves. But I always find a reason to deal cards for a new game. It is horrifying how I waste time on this, but somehow I manage. I am genius at it. (Not game , wasting time). The creators/designers are very intelligent, they have made game simple enough to get hooked to, any complexities may be added as per wish. Plus you don’t have to download it, it comes with the system. Wow , what more could I ask for. Sometimes I think had I needed to search and download or buy this game – would I be still interested?  May be yes or maybe no. I am not so sure.

At the moment I am fighting the urge to play this game, sometimes I succeed and sometimes I fail. But I try, believe me I do. I am doing my best to save my sanity. I don't want the game to control me. Maybe I am thinking too much about the game. Infact Microsoft should pay me to think so much and then even write about their game. Would deleting the game work?

But can I? I am not sure.

(The funny part is that I don't even enjoy playing the game, I just end up clicking on new game)

P.S: As long as book wins over the game each time, It is a win - mine. And I just won.

There are pages still unturned

Just when you think what more could happen, life opens a new chapter, it takes a new course in the journey...and there are pages still unturned. The title of the post is something a dear friend said to me years ago, today I can say that I have understood the meaning. As usual understanding simple words is the most difficult task.

 

Life is a book, each chapter is connected to the last and next one, you can't take out one and treat it as separate. In other words, life is a book with one story and not a collection of short stories. The chapter you have experienced is your past , the one you are reading is your present, shaped by your past and in turns shapes the next chapter , your future. Do not try to skip pages or be too fast, you may end up missing an important part/link.

 

As long as you live there would be unturned pages. Though the thickness of the book does not imply long life ...it means a great life. A life filled with pages of your experiences, of memories you have made with loved ones, of your dreams and then reality. Live your pages today fully and look forward to the unturned ones. You never know when the writer adds a twist, a new spice and a wonderful adventure to your life.

 

I have seen people wasting the present in lure of a happy and secure future, and believe you me, that future never arrives. By the time they reach the stage they call secure, they forget how to enjoy. And remember the present shapes the future. How could a dull and boring present lead to a fun filled lively future. My book is pretty thick and I owe it to the wonderful people I have in my life. And there so many unturned pages. I hope it has lots of twists, spices and life.

 

 

May your book be filled with lovely moments of friendship, chapters of love, cherished memories with family , health and happiness. Enjoy Reading!